Is this REALLY the Happiest time of the Year?
Hi and Welcome to Issue #029 of Devine Online!
Which side of the coin are YOU on....the side that loves the silly season, or the side that loathes it? The truth is, many people do loathe this time of the year, but are at a loss as to exactly why. We’re supposed to be spreading good cheer and putting on a happy face aren’t we? Well, here’s why it’s sometimes not that simple:
ONE: We spend a Lot of Money
For many people, this is not only a stressful time of year emotionally, but financially as well. How many people do YOU have to buy presents for this year? And on top of that, there’s the turkey, pudding, etc...where does it all stop? If you have a little bit of Scrooge in you, then you’re probably not alone. Many people spend loads of money buying presents that other people probably don’t like and will never use!
But hang on, before I get carried away on this, let me stop whining and offer some practical suggestions. If you have a large family, what about drawing names out of a hat and assigning each person one other person to buy for – you’ll be able to but one quality present instead of a whole lot of sub-standard ones.
Do you worry about money? If so, now may be a time to give yourself a long overdue gift – education about how your mind works. You’ve heard me go on about the Law of Attraction many times, and there’s a good reason for that – it works! But there is a method to it, and you must apply that method or you won’t get results. Want to know how? Just ask me!
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TWO: You Can’t Choose your Family
OOPS! Did I say that...? This is one subject we all skirt around, so I’m just going to come out and say it: Sometimes, no matter how hard we try, we just don’t like certain members of our family! Not only is this okay, but it’s extremely common. Many of my clients feel very guilty about the way they feel, but the sad truth is, you can’t erase years of baggage in one go.
So what can you do? Well, let’s see; this year, take a mental note of the ‘button pushers’ in your family. You know the ones I'm talking about...just one word or judgmental sideways glance from them sends you reeling into a fit of rage as all the past years of bad memories come flooding back. Okay, so maybe it’s not THAT bad for some of you, but you get my drift - right?
Remember, you cannot change other people, only yourself. Make a commitment to yourself not to react! Understand that anybody (and I mean ANYBODY) who is rude or abusive to you in any way is terribly unhappy. Allow your compassionate side to see this and diffuse any arguments before they start. Show that you have too much respect for yourself to enter into any petty arguments, and you’ll be the one to come out on top every time.
THREE: We have to PRETEND to be Happy
What stuff have you gone through this year? Whatever emotional, physical or financial challenges you may have faced, it can be really difficult to shove all of that under the carpet and put on a happy face for the sake of others.
Yet that is precisely what we sometimes have to force ourselves to do isn’t it? No wonder people get exhausted over the silly season. It takes an enormous amount of energy to pretend to be happy when you’re not. For many people, this is a very lonely time of year, and it reminds them of all the things that they want but do not have.
All very well to say ‘snap out of it’, but sometimes you just can’t, no matter how hard you try. So my advice? Don’t even try. Give yourself permission to go through what you are experiencing without beating yourself up.
Think of your negative feelings as a dragon: the more you try to push the dragon away, the more fire it will breathe onto you. So instead, acknowledge that dragon, and say: “I know you’re there, but I’m not going to let you stop me from living my life”.
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FOUR: We worry about whether Other People are having a good time
As well as the people who are depressed and unhappy over Christmas, we also have another group: Those who worry about them. It can be equally stressful seeing someone you love going through sadness and depression. So much so, that you may just want to jump in and fix things for them – but you can’t.
Are you everybody else’s rock? If so, you may find yourself taking on everybody’s bad energy to your own detriment. You DO deserve enjoy yourself! Sometimes we may feel guilty for being happy when others around us are miserable.
Well, let me let you in on a little secret: Those people who are miserable will be miserable regardless. You can’t control their emotions, or run their lives. You are not responsible for other people’s happiness, nor should you have to walk on eggshells. So put yourself first for once, and have some fun!
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So there you have it! I hope you enjoyed this issue of Success Express...have a great day!
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