You ALWAYS Have a Choice

March 2008

Hi and Welcome to Issue #031 of Devine Online!

'Hello Sonia, I’d like to book an appointment for Hypnotherapy' says the voice on the other end of the phone. 'Certainly', I reply, 'What would you like to work on during our session?', I ask. 'Everything.' comes the reply.

And here lies the problem for most people; they have no idea how to make their lives work. If you’re feeling lost and overwhelmed, then the first step is to take stock of your life and work out which areas are suffering. For example, do you work too much? Party too much? Sleep too much?

Happiness studies show that we need to have balance in our lives. So in this issue I’m going to explain exactly what I mean by balance, and how we go about getting it.


The word ‘purpose’ can refer to many things. Generally though, when I talk about purpose I’m talking about your work – what you do for a living. Some people are doing what they love to do, but most people are simply working to pay the bills. Whether you fall into the first or the second category, the principle remains the same; if you work too hard, your life will suffer.

Here’s an example; 'Joe' came to see me for insomnia. He was tired, stressed out, and having a hard time getting a good night’s sleep. Most nights he lay awake for hours, unable to stop the continuous procession of worrying thoughts from bombarding his mind.

When he finally did fall asleep, he would often wake up in early hours of the morning, unable to return to sleep. His work was suffering. His relationship was suffering. He was too tired to spend any time with his kids.

When I asked him how many hours a week he worked, he told me that it was in excess of 70 hours per week. He almost always took work home with him, and spent most Sundays at the office. I then asked him to name his top priority. 'That’s easy' he said; 'My family'.

What is wrong with this picture?

'Joe' was wired'. 'Joe' was tired. But most importantly, 'Joe' was hell-bent on buying his way to happiness; so tunnel-visioned that he couldn't see the very thing he was doing to protect and preserve his family was also tearing them apart. His intentions were good, but his mind was disillusioned.

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'Joe' had fallen into the trap of believing. that the harder he worked, the better off he and his family would be. The truth? He and his wife had not been intimate for over a year. They fought constantly, never had time alone and rarely did things together as a family. To top it all off, his children had started playing up at school, slipping in their grades and generally creating trouble for themselves and other people.

When I suggested to 'Joe' that he may be working too much, he was adamant that he didn’t have a choice in the matter; they had a huge mortgage, were paying off a new car. and the kids’ school fees were astronomical (private school of course). 'What can I do?' he said. 'In a perfect world, sure I’d work less, but the company doesn’t just run itself'.

I said this to 'Joe' and I’ll say it to you: you ALWAYS have a choice. Maybe you’ve fallen into the trap of believing that if you just slog your guts out for another ten years, THEN you’ll have enough money/prestige/etc…to relax a bit. Well guess what? You’ll never have enough. That perfect day in the future is just a mirage. Your life starts right NOW.

What will you do when 10 years from now your kids have grown up without you and your spouse has finally left? What will you have to show for it at the end of the day?


Joe's insomnia was a direct manifestation of stress and overwork. It was his subconscious mind’s way of giving him a wake-up call; saying ‘listen mate, something’s got to give.’ I see clients whose health is suffering in many areas, simply because they believe they are ‘time poor’. In reality, there is no such thing as ‘time poor’. Life is about prioritising.

The problem is that most people take their health for granted. It often takes something dire such as cancer or a heart-attack to prompt a person to re-assess their priorities. Don’t let this happen to you!

Many women who struggle with their weight come to see me, explaining that they don’t have time to prepare healthy meals or exercise. Well now, if I worked 70 hours a week, I wouldn’t have the time either! And even if I did, I ‘d be so tired that I wouldn’t have the energy to exercise, let alone anything else! And thus the couch potato is born. You are not a machine; you are meant to rest and relax. If you don't make time for this, then your health can only go downhill.

Need some help? A skilled therapist will plant the right seeds and get you attracting what you want in life.

Make a decision today to identify and remove the beliefs that are no longer serving you well.

Putting it all Together

Here are two very interesting statements:

  • Human beings’ behaviour is determined by their belief systems;

  • Human beings are free to choose their behaviour

  • Both are equally true. ONLY you can make the change. Get to know yourself and work out what your beliefs are. Do you believe you don’t have a choice? Do you believe it’s too hard to live a happy, balanced life? In order to change the beliefs that are holding you back, you must first become consciously aware of them.

    If you spend too much time working, your relationships and health will suffer; this is a fact. If you spend too much time obsessing with your health, your relationships and work will suffer; this is also a fact. If you’re tired of struggling, then look yourself in the eye and say: “I ALWAYS have a choice.”

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    Feeling stuck? Consider enlisting the services of a qualified therapist to help you identify your blocks and create new, empowering beliefs.

    Would you like a copy of my FREE E-Book? Just click here!

    Thinking about hypnotherapy, counselling or life-coaching?Click here to see testimonials from my clients!

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    So there you have it! I hope you enjoyed this issue of Success Express...have a great day!

    - Sonia

    Manifest Your Success

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