Forgiveness; The Art of Letting Go

October 2006

Hi and Welcome to Issue #014 of Success Express!

To Hold or to Fold?

Most people who come to see me have something they want to let go of; it might be a physical habit, a pattern of behaviour or an attitude. Whatever the case, they want to make positive changes, and it’s my job to put them in touch with that strong part of the inner self that has all the resources to deal with the issues at hand. In my experience, I have noticed a recurring pattern among many people;

Most people’s issues and problems are caused by or exacerbated by events and circumstances from the past.

Let’s use the subject of weight loss as an example; many people are literally ‘holding on’ to the excess weight on their bodies, without even being consciously aware of it. Inability to release excess weight very often goes hand in hand with inability to release hurts and resentments from the past.

Nearly everybody knows somebody who pushes their buttons; that person who has the ability to generate an angry knot in the stomach with just one look or a word EVERY TIME; Do YOU know anyone who generates this feeling within you? I think we all do.....

The truth is, being overweight is just one of the many symptoms of unresolved anger, resentment and sadness; persistent headaches, anxiety and panic attacks, depression and even the serious illnesses such as cancer have all been linked to unresolved negative emotions. So if these negative emotions are so bad for us, why do we insist on hanging onto them?

Swallow your Pride

Are you angry with somebody? If you are, then you may want to examine what exactly you are getting out of holding onto that anger. Throughout the course of our lives, we often pick up hurts and resentments, and this is natural and normal. It’s often called ‘emotional baggage’, and it’s not the baggage we accumulate that can be damaging, for this baggage serves a definite purpose in helping us to learn and grow; what's really important is what we choose to do with it.

Let us explore a concrete example now; let’s say somewhere throughout the course of your life, you were betrayed by someone close to you....someone you thought you could trust. There are many ways you could approach this problem;

One approach might be to bury the experience right down in the bottom of your subconscious mind so that you would never have to look at it or be reminded of it again. This option is flawed, because your subconscious mind never forgets – so even if you think you have consciously erased the memory of the experience and/or the person, your subconscious will continue to 'tap you on the shoulder' and remind you that you need to deal with this; and you will know you are being reminded by your feelings.

Alternately, you may decide that not only are you going to remember this experience, you are going to dwell on it, feel sorry for yourself and adopt the belief that people are only out for themselves and that the world is a cold hard place....thus automatically attracting to yourself even more of what you do not want. Sound like fun? I don’t think so...

So if you don’t choose option one or two, then what’s left? Alright, I'm going to tell you, but I must first warn you that I’m going to be using the ‘F’ word – that’s right, FORGIVENESS!............. NO WAY I hear you say???

Why is it that we would sooner to allow destructive fear based emotions such as anger and resentment to slowly destroy us, rather than release them and move forward? After all, if you had a leg of lamb rotting away in your fridge, would you let it stay there? Of course not! Sooner or later the smell would become so unbearable that you would have no choice but to throw it away.

Do you want to release your anger and resentment? contact me. I can help you release and subconscious blocks that may be getting in the way of you moving forward in your life.

It’s all about YOU

Look, I think forgiveness has been given a really bad rap. When we choose to forgive others, it’s not about losing face, and it’s DEFINITELY not about admitting that the person who hurt you is in the right. What IS about, is taking back control of your life and emotions. After all, who holds the power if you choose to hold onto those negative emotions? I’ll give you a sure ain’t you.

Remember, the most important person in the world is YOU. If you hang onto feelings of hatred, resentment or anger, then sooner or later you will pay – via your deteriorating physical and emotional health.....that rotting ‘leg of lamb’ trapped inside your mind.

Your subconscious mind never ignores unresolved anger, and it will remind you each and every day that you need to deal with the anger by manifesting insomnia, chronic pain, inability to release excess weight, and in some cases, life threatening illnesses. So don't let negative emotions rot away inside you; it's time to release them today!

Try this exercise

This is a great visualization exercise I often do with my clients. Try it for yourself:

Find a place to relax and take three slow, deep breaths. Now imagine you are on a beach and you have a piece of driftwood. In your mind’s eye, draw a large circle around you. You are in the centre of this circle and I want you now to think about all the people in your past or present who have ever hurt you in any way.

Think of any people, events or misunderstandings that have hurt you, and using your driftwood, draw symbols that represent these things. When you have done this, say to yourself:

“All that has offended me, I forgive. From within and without I forgive. I forgive every person who has ever offended or hurt me from the past, the present and the future; I forgive completely and unconditionally...I am free. All things are being cleared up between us, right here and right now. But most of all I forgive myself for having set any of these things in motion.”

You are free now. So step out of your circle and begin a new one; because you have forgiven and you have been forgiven by yourself. Now imagine a big wave crashing in from the ocean and washing away the old circle…so it is completely gone.

Hypnotherapy can help you to heal at a subconscious level, where you have access to the part of your mind that says ‘yes, I’ll do what you say, NO QUESTIONS ASKED!’. Remember, your subconscious mind does not know the difference between what’s vividly imagined and what’s real…so you can tell it anything! A skilled therapist will plant the right seeds to allow you to fully heal and move forward with your life.

Make a decision today to identify and remove the beliefs that are no longer serving you well.

Feeling stuck? Consider enlisting the services of a qualified therapist to help you identify your blocks and create new, empowering beliefs.

Thinking about hypnotherapy, counselling or life-coaching?Click here to see testimonials from my clients!

Do you need online advice? Follow this link to my virtual office and ask me anything you want!

So there you have it! I hope you enjoyed this issue of Success Express...have a great day!

- Sonia

Manifest Your Success

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